I happen to have the perfect thing to blog about tonight. I have learned a lesson today, and most people hear it all the time, but today it actually meant something to me. That lesson is being confident and just. doing. it.
It's a long story, so I'll start from the beginning.
About twelve years ago when I was around 4 years old, my family and I went on a trip to Mexico. My cousin brought along his best friend, Matt. They were some of the youngest in our group (about 20), besides my siblings and I, so they hung out with us a lot. I don't remember a lot from the trip, but I remember a few specific things, including the taste of our resort's strawberry smoothies, the marble floors of our suite, the fun atmosphere of a fiesta at sunset, and more. What I vaguely remember about hanging out with Phil and Matt is that I was probably playing around with them a lot because I thought they were super cool. One thing I remember is a time when the adults were watching a movie that I wasn't allowed to watch, but I kept peeking in, and I think I remember Matt telling me to stop peeking. After Mexico, I had only seen Matt two times again-- at Phil's wedding and at a birthday party. Fast forward to Monday of this week. We were getting a substitute for a week in my tech class. When he came in, I didn't recognize him, but I was a little surprised to see a young, good-looking guy come in as the sub. He said his name was Mr. Samson, but that still didn't ring a bell for me. It wasn't until Wednesday night that I had this huge epiphany. When I realized who he was, I raced down to my mom yelling, "OH MY GOSH MOM, THE SUB IS MATT SAMSON." Clearly I was excited. I hadn't actually gotten a good look at him or even been in the same room as him since Mexico. On Thursday, I spent some of the class period repeatedly looking over at him and getting flashbacks of Mexico and thinking "This is so weird." My mom and my sister both wanted me to say hi, but I was too shy, as always. Honestly, I was a little afraid that he wouldn't remember me or if he did, I wasn't sure what his reaction was going to be. I did the same thing today, but I kept making up scenarios in my head about how it might turn out. It really shouldn't have been such a big deal, but I do tend to overthink things, unfortunately. Towards the end of class, I told myself, "Emma, this is your last chance, and you will regret it if you don't say anything." Finally, by the end of class before we left, I approached him with my pulse racing and my entire body shaking (I really shouldn't have been this nervous) and asked, "Do you know Phil Schell?" He said, "We're best friends." I was actually surprised that they were still best friends after twelve years, and it's a mystery to me why I haven't seen much even though he's still pretty close to my mom's side of the family. Anyway, I said, "I'm his cousin." His reaction was PRICELESS. He realized who I was immediately. The first thing he seemed to think of was a four-year-old me. "DO YOU REMEMBER MEXICO??" My answer was "Yeah!" but really on the inside I was saying, "OF COURSE I REMEMBER MEXICO I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU REMEMBER ME OH MY GOSH THIS IS AMAZING." (Yes, my thoughts are usually in caps and without punctuation.) So we ended up having a short conversation in the classroom, out the door and down the stairs, but it was totally worth it. Once he left, I walked down the empty hallway to my choir class, smiling the whole way.
So friends, the moral of the story isn't that I got to see and talk with someone from my childhood; it's that when you push yourself to do something you'll regret if you don't, your entire day can be made. Take that to heart please, especially those who are not confident, because one of those people is me, and now I see how much of a difference it is when I actually do something.
P.S. - Matt Samson was the coolest babysitter and now he is seriously the coolest substitute teacher ever. Just fyi, if you ever happen to meet him.
